Let it not be forgotten that Luke Skywalker made out with his sister, Star Wars fans.
Let’s face it, that bro would have been a mess at online dating.
And Leia? She’s gotta have daddy issues.
But really, who doesn’t feel a bit alien on apps like OkCupid or Tinder? What’s the difference between them all? Do I need to be on all of them? Is it even worth my time?
These apps used to give me a lot of anxiety. Choosing photos that don’t make me look like Jabba the Hutt. Writing a profile that doesn’t make people hate me like Jar Jar Binks.
I can never really tell if these dating apps are on the side of the Jedi or the Sith. Either way, may the force be with you as you troll them.
For those who feel online dating is like a whole new planet, allow me to introduce you.
“Alert my Star Destroyer to prepare for my arrival. And no, it’s not a rental.” – Darth Vader, Tinder Profile
Tinder
Swipe left to send ‘em to the dark side. Swipe right in hopes you’ll be the next C3P0 and R2D2. This app gets a bad rep for being known as the place for slutty one-night stands and hook-ups, but I disagree. There are plenty of gems on there that might have you saying “R2, it is you! IT IS YOU!” by your third date.
“I was once asked if I was a little short for a Storm Trooper. For those inquiring, I’m 5’9″ but height doesn’t matter to me” – Luke Skywalker, OkCupid
OK Cupid
The bridge between the old and new generations. The app combines the simple swipe style of Tinder with the long form profile of Match and eHarmony. If you’re a girl, you might have to sift through a spammy smut of an inbox to get to the quality inquiries. If you’re a man, you’ve gotta send a great intro or you’re ending up Han SOLO.
“Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for… well, yea,I know none of them have actually messaged yet, but they will.” – Darth, on why Bumble can be a bitch
Bumble
Padme would have been all over this. A place where women have total control. It’s basically Tinder, except the woman has to message the man first. Feminism at its finest. For women, it’s great because you don’t get hassled. Men love it because they get to be lazy. But men, let it be known, just because she messages you, doesn’t mean you can be lazy and never plan the date! Even a lady as intimidating as Leia loved being loved on a bit.
“Patience, my friend. In time, he will seek *you* out, and when he does, you must be open to a serious relationship.” – Darth’s journal entry upon finally joining Match
Match and eHarmony
Search for a serious relationship on this site you will. Match is for those looking for just that, their match and one true love. If you can get through the time it takes to set up your profile and answer questions upon questions upon questions about yourself, then you have the patience of a Jedi master, and hopefully you shall be rewarded.
“I sense something; a presence I’ve not felt since… the last time I updated my profile.” – Darth Vader
Plenty of Fish
This is the Death Star. I feel like Plenty of Fish is where you go for plenty of something else that starts with F. It’s not the place for love, its the place for getting lucky. In my experience, this app is old school and out dated. Chewie, get us outta here!
“Help me take this mask off…” – When your online date shows up and ends up looking NOTHING like their profile picture…
IRL
Many of you may think I’m derping around by including this since it’s not technically an app, but this is no mistake. Open your eyes and pull them off of the screen or life is gonna pass you by at warp speed! On these apps you might feel like everyone blends together and all look the same, just like those blasted stormtroopers. But in real life, you could have CHEMISTRY!
Let’s just hope it’s not with your sister.
