I recently had a minor issue in the fashion department and it’s time for me to confess.
I accidentally purchased a poncho.
I’ll admit… I have a slight shopping problem where I buy lots of items, plan on returning a few and then, oopsies, I completely forget about the return part and am stuck with some random “trendy” accessories that I’m completely clueless what to do with.
Seriously – Please tell me I am not the only one who’s done this.
Anyways, I’m stuck with this poncho. Mo’ ponchos, mo’ problems, I guess.
But as it turns out, it’s really not the poncho that’s the problem. It’s that I had absolutely ZERO idea how to style this thing!
So I’m throwing a poncho party and you’re all invited. RSVPs are due right away because HALP ME.
I’ve come up with 5 ways to style a poncho, but I would love some advice from you fashionistas, because I gotta get my Poncho-Style Pinterest-worthy. Which of these styles make me look pretty in poncho?
Look 1: Being a Picnic Blanket Babe
Honestly, in the dark dinginess of my bedroom, this style was the reason I had major poncho panic in the first place. I draped it over myself like a giant picnic blanket and thought “Oh crap, Yogi and Boo Boo are gonna try to come eat sandwiches on me. Great.”
But outside in the daylight, well… to quote the lyrical genius of Maroon 5’s song Daylight, “Here I am staring at your perfection. In my arms, so beautiful”. Poncho, I dedicate this song to you.
Seriously, read those lyrics. I think the song is actually about the last night before the return policy runs out for an expensive piece of clothing you LOVE SO SO MUCH but have to let go of because you can’t afford it. It’s a musical masterpiece that speaks to me.
Look 2: Going Bar Mitzvah Chic
The second thing I did after putting on this poncho was the hava nagila. Oy, vey.
I’m Jewish and I’ve been to enough Bar and Bat Mitzvah affairs to know what a rabbi looks like. And I kiiiiiinda look like one. But let’s be honest here. There are some damn sexy rabbis out there. So I’m proud.
In case you were wondering, yes, I did just google “sexy rabbis” just to make sure. And yes, there is a curated list in case you’re looking for love with a nice Jewish boy or girl.
Once I went out on a Tinder date with a very good looking rabbi. While it definitely took some chutzpah for me to figure out how to style this thing, I think if he were to see me now, he would give my look a “Mazel!”
Look 3: Just Playing Pretend
Poncho? Or mega-gigantic scarf? Let’s just pretend it’s a scarf, OK? Scarfs are way more easy for me to figure out. I know all about dem scarves.
If you’ve got a super long poncho like mine, and you’re like “Uh, what.”, just sing this song to a tune you probably knew as a kid…
Does your poncho hang low? Does it almost skim your toes? Should you tie it in a knot? Could you belt it with a bow? Oh, just throw it over your shoulder like a continental soldier, if your poncho… hangs… low…!
Boom, ya just styled it.
Look 4: Creating Carmen Sandiego Couture
Greetings, gumshoes. For our next clue to style a poncho…
What should you do with a super fashionable and trendy item you don’t know how to style? Add other trendy fashionable items, of course! Layering trends just makes you look extra trendy, right?
Oh, god, I hope so.
Paired with a long jacket and wide brimmed hat, I’ll admit, I did feel a little bit like the world’s most fashionable, sexy spy.
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Probably hidden behind a giant poncho.
Look 5: Giving the Twirling Toreador A Try
FYI – Dogs. Love. Ponchos.
Hello, if you get a poncho, you have to twirl in it. This poncho was just too much to not twirl in. Like a thousand times. I couldn’t resist.
And the dog couldn’t resist it either! Who knew a poncho could double as a play toy?
I hear Ponchos & Pooches are a style all the rage in Milan. What better accessory exists than man’s best friend?
Poncho-geddon: The Results
Actually… styling this poncho wasn’t so bad! As it turns out, most of pulling off the poncho just came by having the right confidence and attitude to go along with it.
Whether you belt it, accessorize it or go all-out purely poncho, the poncho trend keeps you warm and is surprisingly fun to wear!
Moral of the story here is, I should forget to return more stuff.
Wait, uh… my bank account just called and said “You’ve gotta be kidding me”… so lol yea… totally just joking, guys… That will NEVER happen again.
$20 Date Style | Shop The Look
I got this poncho for 50% off on Tobi. Sign up for their email list for 50% off codes sent to you ALL THE TIME. Sadly a lot of what I’m wearing is no longer available, so I tried to find similar (and still affordable!) styles below.