What does your morning coffee brew say about you?
I remember the first time my boyfriend served me up a cup of piping hot, freshly ground and French-pressed coffee in the morning. It was magical.
But… it took FOREVER. The process of grinding the beans. The method of balancing brewing with breakfast. It sure wasn’t my quick morning run to the coffee shop!
The experience taught me something. People are a LOT like the routine they choose to brew their morning coffee.
My boyfriend: The routine oriented, logical and patient man who loves to decompress before starting the day. Me: The social butterfly who wants a little conversation with her caffeine (and zero dishes to clean-up).
The different types of coffee makers below all strive to hit a $20-something range, so if you’re in the mood to set the mood with something new in the AM… Find out which style brew speaks to YOU.
The look of love.
Coffee Brewing Personality Types you might run into:
The Basic Brewer
No frills. Low maintenance. Anyone with one of these basic 4-cup coffee makers is an appreciator of the simple things in life. Just because it’s not fancy doesn’t mean it doesn’t get the job done.
This person just needs the basics to get by and are easy to please. Coffee is coffee, caffeine is caffeine. But don’t confuse a Basic Brewer for a cheapskate! They just like to spend their dollars on a different vice.
All about the basics.
The Aeropress Primadonna
Don’t get any milk froth stuck in that hipster ‘stache. The aeropress is a pricier setup, but worth it for coffee elitists with picky palates. If you find yourself in the presence of an aeropress, prepare. This person may relay stories their sustainably farmed beans. They might grind those beans with a mortar and pestle made by hand in the USA.You might be here a while.
Don’t roll your eyes though. At least until after you try the first sip. The cool thing about the Aeropress is that it can make both espresso and coffee, so basically it’s worth the chatter about which newly gentrified neighborhood you can ride your fixies through on Coffee Date: Round 2.
Did the coffee make you stay for the conversation or did the conversation make you stay for the coffee? Existential life questions you’ll have to get your date to answer, because I’m still not even clear about what irony is. But I am clear that the Aeropress makes good coffee.
Why did the hipster burn her tongue on her coffee? She drank it before it was cool.
The Fancypants French Press
Cue the opening of the Wall Street Journal — or comic section. This person likes a relaxed and unrushed morning routine (emphasis on routine). This method uses a thicker coffee grind filtered through a more porous netting, allowing for all the oils and complex flavors of each bean to be appreciated and enjoyed.
The French Press aficionado is like the fine wine lover, one who has the patience to let the wine breathe and the coffee steep. Whether it’s wine or coffee, both are just sitting there in the prep phase, right in front of your eyes… they look ready to go, but they won’t jump the gun. The French Presser has restraint. They wait until the time is just right before giving into their urges. And they’ll probably pour your glass first.
Slow and steady wins the taste.
The Coffee Dripper
Well look at you, all dressed up with no where to be, or at least I hope you don’t have anywhere to be. Drip coffee takes SO LONG you may be ready to go back to sleep before the ride is even over.
Brewing just one cup at a time, this type of coffee lover wants to craft a personal experience with their date. The dripper is the nice guy/gal. The sweet, caring one who will remember exactly how you take your coffee and care enough to ask. Each cup can be customized to achieve the ideal flavor, strength and temperature. Whether you like ‘em strong and smooth or sweet and bold, the dripper can make your dreams come true.
A brew as unique as you.
The Percolator
While this name always makes me want to dance to a Sean Paul song, this person is probably a little more rustic than reggaeton. Percolators are an old school method to the madness of coffee-making, often used by campers brewing on a gas powered stove top.
The percolator is heavy-duty. No frills, no filters. They stand the test of time and are made to last. The percolator-lover is a back-to-basics kinda guy or gal with simple tastes. But simple tastes doesn’t mean boring. Simplicity is refreshing and so is a fresh brew from this brand.
Girl, get busy. Just make that coffee non-stop. When the heat drops, just keep makin’ it. Get jiggy. Get crunked up, percolate.
The Doesn’t Drink Coffee
Run. JUST RUN.
Have you got a caffeine crush on the perfect percolator? Share your brewing personality style below!
Sharing is caring! Will your friends share your style?
